A Jellyfish Bad Day
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work ... think of this guy, Rob is a commercial saturation
diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of
my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is
quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then
pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air
hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom
and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my
wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in
a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
My suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the
dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions
were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers were
all laughing hysterically Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic
with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The
cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt
was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now
repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
